Okay, you read my last blog (DBB at the Old Course). You want to know the truth?
Well yeah it was all good and that but the people that stay in these hotels are faking it and brilliant people watching.
The sommelier talked to us for a good 10 minutes about wines from Aldi – he totally recommended wines and whisky from the cheap supermarket and I think because we were chatty (and knew about Aldi wines) he outstayed his welcome enjoying the relaxed chat.
When we went to the bar at night it was full of amazing sights. A family of Asians all sat in silence welded to their phones/ipads. An Indian family all loudly falling out with each other and another family from (maybe) Hull who were their for New Year but trying even harder than me to fit in. The woman in her tin foil dress spent all her time trying not to show her knickers.
When we went back to our room I was mortified to find that the maids had been in cleaning up and had ‘fixed’ the room by remaking the bed, removing our empty wine bottle and washing the glasses, emptying the bins of our crisp packets and even putting the body lotion back in to the bog.
The next morning at breakfast I saw a man in a gawd awful turquoise and white trackie top trying to shoogle a piece of Italian meat from the fork on to his plate at the buffet and when he couldn’t he just ate it and put the fork back on the table!
Another women had a pair of hotel slippers on and they weren’t even from the Old Course hotel.
The women that was trying harder than me the previous night had on a black sweatshirt with the word Love written over it. Did you see King Gary on the telly recently? Well that. This women was the female version of Tom Davis in the sitcom.
So what I am trying to say is that visiting posh hotels aint all that and there is a funny side but me, like many others, are totally faking it.